Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Near Death Experience..A "Must Read"

Original Post Date: July 12, 2007

Did you know Texas has FREAKISH bugs?? Thought I had seen them all until a few days ago....

Got bored one evening and decided to go out and mow the field..(Noodle Texas can get very boring at times.) I got this grand idea that if I mowed all the weeds down, then the actual grass just might grow (so far, I'm right..) After all, who wouldn't want a field of pretty green grass vs. a field full of ugly weeds??

Anywho, I'm mowing along, all zoned out in my own lil' world, when I see something black and orangeish dart out from my mower's path. Thought I was seeing things at first you see, because I'm in Texas...not the freaking outback of Australia. This was a spider, but not just any spider, it looked like a damn TARANTULA!! A bit bigger than the palm of my and fuzzy looking... and I'm not talking "cute fuzzy" I mean "SCARY FREAK" fuzzy!! The front section of his body was orangeish/tanish with the back being black like his creepy, mile long legs.

Obviously, based on this description you can imagine this critter was surely a man eater or something and I'm sure I looked quite yummy! I let go of the mower and take off running across the field, screaming like an idiot. I don't stop running until I reach the back corner of the field, and only then do I check to make sure the evil demon didn't chase me and get me cornered. Thankfully the coast was clear and he didn't follow me. So.... I hunt for a suitable weapon to take on one of these creatures..this being the biggest stick I could find...and slowly walk back to my mower, all the while scanning the ground to make sure he isn't lurking and waiting for me.

After checking the area carefully I decide that I won and scared him off...I'm quite sure he heard me coming with my stick and decided to find another field to haunt. I start my mower and once again continue to mow. Due to the horrid interruption though, I am denied the pleasure of zoning back into "la-la land" while I mow. Instead I'm chopping the weeds and scanning the ground. I don't want to be caught off guard again!!

Ten minutes into mowing I'll be damned if another freak doesn't pop out of the grass!!! But, I'm prepared this go around...My course of action??

Chase the lil' bastard with the mower until I manage to chop him into fuzzy spidery bits!! This plan turns out to be VERY effective and in the end, the creature met his demise a the end of my mighty mower blades..Yea, I rule!!

Once I have rid the field of this horrid thing, I stop the mower to admire my handy work....the spider is in fact dead...very dead..But my gosh you should see the field!!!! You'd be amazed at what a field looks like when you run around it with a mower...LOL....there were zig-zags and swirls of cut grass all over the place!!! Not a neat, manicured mow job at all...this goes to show I could never be employed by a golf course or landscaping company...Though I think Terminex outta give me a call.......

Needless to say, I spent the rest of my evening trying to mow everything even so proof of my brief moment of insanity would no longer be visible. Lord only knows what people would think if they saw my handy work....and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the elderly woman who lives down from us didn't witness my Spider vs. Lawn Mower episode....

So anyways, anyone know what the heck this spider was and if it was in fact a tarantula or just a common spider on steroids?? I was unaware that we had Tarantula's lurking in Texas (granted, I don't set aside much time to study the insects of this area..) If it wasn't a tarantula, then the only logical guess would be that it was some freak science experiment gone wrong and then let loose on Texas to reek havoc on all unsuspecting mowers..

Mowers beware, the one that got away from me might just be in your yard..



Caliann said...

~smiles~ Congratulations! You managed to destroy one of the most docile breeds of spider known!

If you find any more of them, please CALL ME! I will come get them. Their main diet is cockroaches and anything that eats cockroaches is a friend of mine!

In actuality, the Texas Brown Tarantula comes in a variety of colors. Some have black legs and brown/orange body, some are all one color. I had one as a kid that had chocolate legs and a kind of gray-brown body.

* Crystal * said...

Okay......Now I must admit if I had to choose between creepy tarantula and a roach.... I would definately choose the tarantula....But I don't want either critter sneaking up on me in the field. lol

But it is ironic that I went all Armageddon on a species that is known for being one of the most docile...Go figure!