Monday, July 19, 2010

Strange lights on the Noodle skyline...

Anyone know if there is anything special or significant about July 19th?

Before bothering y'all with such a question I did at least google it to try and find the answer myself. Only info I found is that it is the 200th day of the year (201st in leap years)& I also discovered that it is a Burmese National Holiday, though neither of these insights provided me with the information I was searching for.

I bet your wondering why I'm even asking right?? Well I was looking for some old holiday that is observed on this very day that requires the hanging and plugging in of your CHRISTMAS LIGHTS! As I stood out on my porch this evening, enjoying the first bit of bearable outdoor weather we've had all day, I hear a bit of a ruckus (the moving of a ladder to be exact) and then all of the sudden the house down the road from me is lit up like Christmas morning... Literally.

Since we don't have much light out here (we have a few street lights, but my neighbor got annoyed by a few and shot them out, so artificial light is minimal after dark) this sudden burst of light was a bit of a shocker. As far as I know the residents of this house aren't Burmese, and even if they were, what I read about the Burmese National Holiday (more accurately known as "Burmese Martyrs' Day") it isn't exactly the kind of holiday where you hang up your Christmas lights.

I thought it was quite odd to say the least, but I have yet to work up the courage to willingly interact with the residents there (though they have had no issue with forcing their presence upon me a time or two) so I think it would be a bit weird for me to knock on their door at 10 o'clock at night and ask if anyone residing there happens to be Burmese!!

Not to mention, what on earth would I do if they said: "Yes, I am in fact Burmese."?!?!? Since this holiday is a day when high ranking officials of that country visit the Martyrs' Mausoleum to pay respect to long ago assassinated independence leaders, I could hardly offer a Hallmark card or a gift basket...It just doesn't seem like that sort of Holiday, but in my defense, it also doesn't seem like the "Hang your Christmas lights and shine them brightly in the middle of July" type of holiday either....

I'll just have to leave this as one of those Noodleville Mysteries best left unsolved I suppose.

On a completely unrelated note: My bunnies are here from Louisiana and have finally settled in!! They are Castor Standard Rexs and I'm quite pleased with them as they are the beginning of my "rabbitry" and yes, to you non-rabbit folks, that is a real word. (Oh and, "rabbit folks" exist too..I found a whole slew of them online, so I'm not the only one who has this "crazy hobby" haha) It's my newest hobby and I am well aware that 95% of the people who know me think it's extremely bazaar, crazy or downright stupid and to those of you who think that, even though I may love you (or at the very least tolerate you) I just don't care what you think so keep your negative opinions to yourself if you don't mind. Be forewarned, at this point in my life I have finally grown a big enough "pair" that I am quite content with telling you where to shove your negativity, and since my methods of doing so are "socially unacceptable" I find it's best for all parties involved if the negative opinions and discouraging remarks be kept silent.

Anywho, here's a couple of pictures:


Cute eh? I surely think so :-)

Goodnight y'all!

Love & Hugs

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Clown for a night.. last day off. :-(

Quite sad actually that now I must start preparing myself for two back to back doubles and all the drama that sometimes goes along with waitressing. I chant to myself: "I will survive, I will smile and I will resist the urge to slap some of my fellows co-workers and those annoying guest that are an inevitable part of my work life". Some days I must chant more than others, but since I haven't been at work this week, I only need to repeat this to myself twice...Tomorrow, after my 1st double I may need a self help tape and hours worth of chanting, but today I'm alright. :-)

Part of preparing is the usual: gathering up work uniforms, getting laundry done, getting the kids set up with clean clothes & easy snacks, thawing out Socrates's food and freezing the water bottles for my rabbits.

Also part of my ritual is super gluing the bottom of my shoes back on. The floors at work are like a damn ice skating rink and non-slip shoes are a must, so much so that if your not wearing them, you get sent home. The back area of the restaurant where the dish pit is located is like a horrible swamp of unknown liquid that is quite hard on your shoes, hence the gluing. These shoes are my 3rd pair in 2 years. Kind of ugly, solid croc style that can thankfully be disguised by bootcut jeans. The non-slip bottoms are coming off though and since the rest of the shoe still functions and looks presentable, I'm being frugal and going to squeeze as much time out of them as possible. :-)

The front part on the right shoe is coming loose so it has a 3 inch flap and there's a lil' loose part on the back. That 3 inch flap was the cause of me getting caught on a rug and loosing an entire tray of drinks last week BTW...quite messy, sticky & embarrassing if you must know.

Anywho....Break out the super glue, squeeze on and squish the pieces together and wipe away the excess. Decided to get a good stick so I put the shoe on for extra weight/pressure.

So, I'm standing there, one shoe on, chatting with my mom...our chat comes to an end and I start to walk around her.

Take off with my left foot, my right foot goes to follow and the next thing I know I'm eating the couch!! My mom is in hysterics, wheezing, snorting (now I know where I got THAT from!) and making NO move to help me. I'm trying to set myself to rights and having a hard time of it since my foot is still stuck in the shoe and I'm flat out across the living room with only my shoulders/head on the couch...getting vertical again was awkward to say the least...

Apparently I didn't wipe enough of the extra super glue away and I glued myself to the floor! Haven't been so happy about jerking the carpet out of the living room as I was today. Managed to pry my foot/shoe free (all without my mother's help BTW since she was too busy trying not to pee her pants) and got to the task of getting the super glue off the floor and off my fingers.

But, the good news is my shoe is solid and flap free once again, I didn't break anything (thanks to my couch) and my mother is still being insanely immature and giggling every time she looks at me, so I'm happy to have provided her with entertainment for the evening. According to her, when she looks at me she gets the image of the punch balloons.....ya know those clown type ones that have a weighted base and you can punch them, they fall straight down and then come straight up again?? Yea, when my mother gazes upon her only daughter, she's sees a punchable clown, cute eh? She's so loving...there have been times in my life when my gene pool worries me and I wonder if I could have possibly been adopted. Tonight just so happens to be one of those nights...

Wish me luck for tomorrow folks, dunno if my shoe incident is a sign of how my weekend if going to be, but I really hope not.

Love & Hugs


Sunday, July 4, 2010

Blunders, Explosions & Crashes

Odd title right????? I know, but it all makes sense just have to suffer through my rambling to get right down to the meaning of it. :-)

First of all, Happy 4th of July to everyone! I am so happy to see this holiday and for more than just the usual reasons. I'm happy to see this day because it means I survived this past weekend.

Survived what you may ask??....Well... myself actually (and that's no small feat folks, let me tell ya..).

The beginning of it all is "blunders"..I work doubles (10am-midnight) as a waitress on Fridays & Saturdays. So Friday morning rolls around and I'm mentally preparing myself for the "Battle of Self Control". In my line of work, self control is essential (I work for tips so my pay kind of depends on it). I'm actually quite proud to say I've mastered the skill of smiling and appearing completely unfazed by rude, idiotic customers. Ya know the type of people I'm talking about....the snappy women, who literally snap their fingers at you for drink refills (while they've still got half a glass I might add), the guy who cusses at you because lunch specials have ended and he wants a lunch platter, the large weight watcher's failures who constantly have you running for more butter and a refill on that Diet Pepsi (all while they're griping that we don't have a WW points menu or a low carb menu) and my personal favorite..the families with young children who are the most miserable lil' creatures I have ever encountered...screaming, demanding root beer floats, throwing food and getting told how silly/cute/precious they are by they're obviously oblivious parents...... As you can see I've gotten myself sidetracked, this list could go on indefinitely..So, back to "Blunders":

I'm getting ready for work, and realize I left my mascara in the car. Skip out to get it and the car is locked and the keys are by the gear shifter. No biggie, I've got a spare in my purse. I proceed to rip through the house trying to find my purse...then it dawns on me. The purse, with the spare keys is in the passenger seat of the locked car. BRILLIANT! Just Brilliant! Make the call to Gieco and they inform me that since I'm way out in Noodle, the soonest they could get to me would be about 1-2 hours. Fabulous, that will make my arrival time at work at the END of the lunch shift. Time to call the boss. He's not thrilled, but says it's alright, to just make sure I'm there for the 2nd half of my double. I wait for what seems like an eternity (wrecker got lost) and then he finally arrives in all his 3 toothed glory in a bright yellow truck. I stand out, in the drizzle because it just seems rude to wait inside after he came all the way out to unlock my car. He's talking to himself in a mixture of Spanish & English and I only realize this is a one sided conversation AFTER I try responding to him for the 2nd time and he gives me this look as if I was interrupting a conversation....Weird, but the fella got the door unlocked so I can't complain. One blunder solved, and I think the day will actually turn out great since I have a lil spare time to myself.

I decide that since I should have been at work, it wouldn't be seemly to be lazy on this extra time so I decide to do the right thing and use the time wisely. Which means heading into town early, getting a few errands done and heading by Tractor Supply to pick up rabbit food since the bunnies were almost out....Here is where the "Explosions" fit in.

I head to the back of the store where the 50 lb bags are kept, drag half of them out to check the dates on the feed bags (why pay the same amount of money for 3+ month old feed, when I can get fresher, newer feed for the same price?) much to the annoyance of the employees. Though in my defense, after I got the bag I wanted, I put everything back where it was before, so they can take their dirty looks and eye rolls and shove it where the sun don't shine as far as I'm concerned!! I heave the bag up and hold it in front of me sort of bear hug style, and begin the walk to the front. I make it about 15ft from the registers (in the middle of the store) when everything starts to fall apart...Literally.

The bottom of the bag is coming apart, in the middle of the store and I have to find a way to stop this from getting really embarrassing!!! Now, for a visual: You know those old cartoons where the character is falling and he starts rapidly going hand over hand trying to grab a rope that's already out of reach?? Well picture that in more of a hug form and in a downward motion instead of reaching upwards. That's me. :-/ Rapidly making lil' downward hugs trying to stop the flow of feed that's gotten quite large. The goal was to hug/close off the bottom and hopefully prevent more of a mess. Didn't work. The small flow quickly turned into an explosion of feed (see how that ties into the title?) It's noisy, it's messy and I'm doing this silly looking hug thing trying to stop it all. In the end there's a 50lb mass of feed all around me, the dust from the feed billows up and temporarily disturbs my view of the world and that's when all the bad hits (meaning total embarrassment can settle in since I am no longer occupied trying to stop the feed flow).

I'm standing in the middle of the store, feed all around me, covered from head to toe in dust (so much dust that my hair looks greenish/grey) and I'm HUGGING the damned feed bag to me as if it's some sort of lifeline!!!!! Talk about embarrassing....people gawked for a few seconds before their good manners finally kicked in...a gentleman came and took the empty bag from me, and a few others took over scooping up the mess. I was tempted to just walk out of the store, but really needed the feed, so I say nothing and start walking back to the feed isle (would have helped clean up, but I was shoo'ed away for some odd reason..). A concerned employee stops me, offers to get the feed and insist on carrying it to the register and then out to the car (in a tone, I might add, that I did not appreciate. I swear he acted as if it was all MY fault and he was trying to save his store from more disasters caused by my hand.) I am more than willing to own up to my mistakes, but I just don't think the faulty feed packaging was my fault!

I finally get out of there and go into work covered in feed dust, so I have to start my shift off by shaking out my clothes, shoes and hair in the bathroom...wonderful, just wonderful. I also happen to notice I carry the faint aroma of alfalfa that lingers even though I've managed to remove most of the visible traces of feed dust, if anyone ask about it I've decided to say it's just a new organic perfume. :-)

I'm guessing I was getting a subtle punishment for my first call-in to work, because I get there and I find out management stuck me in the worst, no money making section..on a Friday night of all nights! Locked out of the car, feed explosion and now no money prospects for the night. This is just so wonderful...But, I suck it up, I don't whine or complain and I make it through the shift.

I get off a bit early (11:20pm) since I was in the back, dead section and am on my way to pick up cereal and other goodies for the kiddos at Wal-Mart. Do any of y'all ever go to Wal-Mart late at night? I swear it a convention of the crazies! I go through the store quickly and try not to brush up against any of them or to make eye contact (some of those folks are just nuts, I feel it's safer to avoid eye contact and think you should too)

Make it through the check out line, stand at the basket end of my cart and start pulling it out to my car. My phone goes off, so I'm digging through the purse, finally get it and start scrolling through the various alerts I've received. Here is where "Crashes" fit in.

Late at night it's not just some of my fellow shoppers that are crazy...Apparently the automatic doors are on the fritz as well! I glance up as I approach the doors, then back down at my phone and the next thing I know, I feel a sharp, painful blow to the center of my forehead and briefly think one of the odd shoppers finally snapped and attacked me...I land flat on my ass, next to my cart and glance around to find my attacker....Only to see a few scattered people looking and laughing at me. No attacker in sight.....An attacker might have been less damaging to my ego and would have made for a much cooler story. It was just an automatic door, that forgot it was supposed to open automatically and a tired, scatterbrained chick who walked smack into it. All in all it seems like a suitable end for my day. After all who am I to think that I can do anything in public without making a spectacle of myself on a day like this?!?! I provided the folks of Wal-Mart with a good laugh and the price was only a very sore forehead, rear and severely bruised ego.

Saturday wasn't much of an improvement. I decided to take "Simply Sleep" at 1AM Friday night/Saturday morning because I simply wanted to sleep the drama of the day away. Ended up in a fog for all of Saturday and had a huge variety of those blessed folks who test my self control so severely..

So...HAPPY 4th of July everyone! I am celebrating our freedom & our troops along with everyone else...But I'm also having a personal celebration as I feel it was some sort of miracle I've made it through the past couple days with my limited sanity still intact.

Now for some good food, fire works, and great family time! Have a fun & safe holiday! :-)


Thursday, July 1, 2010

The Rise & Fall of the Noodleville Rockstar

Originally posted on Tuesday, February 12, 2008

It's a semi decent day in the land of Noodleville.....though the typical boredom seems to have set in early today. :-/

For the munchkins it's still a bit too chilly to turn them loose outside just yet.

And as for me...well it's just a bit too early for me to have any real motivation to do something productive...and on a day like this, with no real pressing errands to be done, why not bum out in my PJ's until I get the urge to actually get dressed. The thought even crossed my mind to put on a DVD for the kids and curl up with my current book.

Of course, right about the time I decide that this is the thing to do, my kids decide otherwise and they are in no mood for TV of any sort.....Go figure.

This leads to a dress up game of thinking that maybe if we play for a while they may be content enough to let me get through a chapter or two of my book. Of course, a game of dress up in Noodleville with toddlers must be goofy and silly. If it wasn't, what would be the point right? We end up with my daughter and I in really high pigtails (she picked the style), me in a mismatched pair of hubby's socks that come up to my knees and some funky, 70's type boy shorts that I didn't even know I had. My son of course participated and even though he didn't get the makeup, we drew some tattoos on him with eyeliner and put his hair up in a Mohawk. My makeup was grand, and was applied by my 2 year old daughter who just so happens to be a make up artist...we all looked fabulous to say the least. :-)

This of course got boring after a while as all things will in the world of toddlers, so it was time to revert to being productive in hopes of peace and quiet coming at a later time in the day. So, I blare some music and get to the process of tidying up the living room.

Somewhere along the way though, this went from a cleaning expedition to a make shift rock concert performance by yours truly....

For the sake of visuals, let me throw in a description of the scene. The front door leads right into my living room, with a large window for a full view of the living room and kitchen from the front porch. My couches are dark brown leather and set up in an "L" shape..with the couch being against the wall and the love seat being caddy corner to it. In the corner made by these couches is a built in bookshelf on the wall that starts at the top of the couch and ends about 1 ft from the ceiling.

Back to our "concert" though......I'm rockin' out in my goofy clothes & pigtails with my daughter by my side (my son's on the floor hopping around laughing at us) Were on the couch, slipping and sliding on the leather in our socks and having a blast. :-)

Of course this concert comes complete with a hairbrush microphone and belting out every tune that is playing (with no regard to tune or tone mind you) Not to mention a lil side dish of my personal impersonations of each artist I'm singing along with (complete with the ever famous "White Girl" dance moves even!) Not to mention a real healthy dose of self delusions about glory, fame and my wonderful talents as a total rockstar....Quite the spectacle you can imagine!!

I'm standing on the couch, one foot on the arm of it & right in the midst of a song I don't dare confess to, Brutus (my Dane) lets out a bark and to my horror I look up and see my neighbor's "she-man" (took me forever to figure out she was actually a chick) friend at the door!! Catching a 100% full view of what I'm sure looked like a scene from a nut house...Obviously, her just standing there, peering into my window startles me half to death and I jump and make the move to hop off the couch...this is of course where EVERYTHING falls apart....

Socks, clumsiness and being in a startled hurry all combined on slick leather do NOT mix well. In my startled motion to get down, I slipped, fell forward, made to catch myself and missed......Smashing my face into that lovely built in bookshelf!!!!

Instant bloody nose and a world that's spinning around me.........Not to mention watching the very last shred of dignity I could have salvaged from this situation slip right out the window..

By the time I recover, I see She-Man walking into the driveway (I'm guessing to get away from the spectacle she just witnessed) I figure if I have gone through this humiliation and pain I might as well figure out what the hell she wants! I grab a paper towel for my nose (several actually, it was bleeding quite profusely) and go out the door. Of course you could see the conflict on this woman's face...I dunno if she wanted to hug me or laugh at me...maybe a lil' of both I suppose. It's also quite possible she was questioning my level of sanity after such a display and was trying to keep her distance...seems I'll never really know.

She stammered, stuttered and finally got around to asking me what she needed to ask, which was: "Do you have any puppy chow we could borrow?" Idiot!! Of course I do not!! Everyone out here, including her and her friend who is my neighbor, know that I don't feed my dogs crap in a bag, processed puppy chow (we had a discussion about it just 2 days prior)! So this was all for nothing!!!!

My dreams of stardom, our entertainment for the moment, my stellar performance, and my dignity all went up in flames in an instant...and for no just cause!! What a crime!

Of course..things can't end here....I'm standing on my porch, funky boy shorts, socks that are too long, uneven pigtails and makeup, that from a distance probably made me look a cross between a clown and something that crawled out of some 1940's brothel...coupled with a wad of bloody paper towels smashed to my nose..I am quite the picture as you can probably guess....As I look past the she-man awkwardly walking away, I see my other neighbor's teenage nephew standing at the mailboxes looking at me in total bewilderment..

Yes! This is just GRAND! Let's make sure all of Noodle sees the spectacle of "Crystal, the fallen Rock Star"

Is there a moral to this long, drawn out, humiliating story?? Why yes, there is indeed! :-)

Enjoy life, have fun with your kids, and don't be afraid to act a bit goofy...But for the love of God, DO invest in a set of mini blinds to cover that damned window on the front door!! lol